Sibling Talents and Family Roles

 

When you take psychology, you learn that sibling order typically has an impact on behavior and relationships in the family. With that in mind, last week I thought it might be interesting to know how Aunt Grace remembered each of her siblings as far as their interests, skills and sibling role went. She was quick to point out that with children spread over 28 years, they really didn't know each other very well growing up, but she was a good sport and gave us her memories as best she could. As usual, it became a fun, interesting conversation.

Uncle George would best be described as a provider for the family. She remembers that after he went to work in the Gravel Pit he would always turn his paycheck over to Grandpa. Aunt Grace believes that there were times the family would have had a hard time getting by if it weren't for him. She also remembers him as a great animal lover and that it wouldn't be uncommon to see him with a cat on his shoulder.

Uncle Henry was the sweetheart of the family. He was the quietest and always very considerate. Although he was quiet, he had a good sense of humor, enjoyed a good laugh and had a twinkle in his eye.

Aunt Bertha was the comedian of the older kids. She had a great sense of humor and was always very generous. An early memory of her generosity was when she'd come home from working and the younger kids would run out to meet her, knowing she would have treats for them.

All three of the older kids were hard working and responsible as was evident in the fact that Grandpa could trust them to go to Oswego alone to work the new farm. They were conscious of the younger kids and did things to include them; like taking them to the gravel pit to swim. 

They apparently also knew how to combine fun with work and included the younger kids in those adventures as well. Aunt Grace vividly remembers the time George and Henry came to the farm with the Emilies and took the younger kids out to the pasture to drown gophers! Aunt Grace wasn't certain WHY they were drowning the gophers, so I did a bit of Googling. Turns out there are dual reasons for eliminating gophers in pastures: 1) Gophers quickly destroy the root system; turning the pasture to mud during a rainy season, and 2) livestock can step in one of the holes and break a leg. Although Aunt Grace didn't remember why they were drowning gophers she does remember how excited they got and how they would all cheer when they'd pour water down one hole and then see the poor critter float out of the hole at the other end!

Aunt Helen was always a bit of a loner; almost to the point that she could be described as aloof. She never really had many friends and we speculated that part of that may have been a result of the scar she lived with most of her life after the car accident when Grace was a toddler. She does remember getting into trouble with Helen when she and Marge used to get into her makeup.

My dad (aka Uncle Ray) was always a big helper. While he never had to help with household chores, he carried the bulk of the responsibilities for the outdoor chores from crops, to livestock, to machinery. Aunt Grace said he was probably the best kind of big brother a girl could ask for. I expected her to say he was a tease, but she said no; that they were all pretty serious.

Aunt Grace sees herself as the worker bee; responsible from a young age for household chores, some barn chores and family taxi driver after Ray left home. She was never much of a daredevil and didn't like roller coasters. If she went to a fair or a carnival, she enjoyed the Tilt-a-Whirl or the Merry-Go-Round. The Ferris Wheel was okay as long as she wasn't stuck at the top, especially with someone who liked to rock the car while up there! (I wonder if she ever rode it with my dad???) She was never really sure why, but she knows that Uncle Garnet didn't like her and always said that Janet was just like her!

Aunt Grace and Aunt Marge had a strong love/hate relationship. They were so close, they could be considered best friends, yet Aunt Grace remembers arguing with her more than any other sibling. Chores, especially doing the dishes, could be a battle between the two of them; possibly because Grandma favored her a little as the baby of the family for six years. It seems Aunt Marge got away with some things Grace couldn't have dreamed of. In spite of all that, they shared clothes to double their wardrobes and spent most of their free time with neighbor and friend, Della Reppy.

Not surprisingly, Aunt Grace feels that she had the closest relationships with Ray and Marge. She remembers that she and Ray bought a bike from the Reppys for $2.50 and that they shared it with Aunt Marge. Grace rode the bike mostly for errands, without any tricks or daredevil stunts involved. Ray rode the bike more than the others for enjoyment; frequently popping wheelies and riding with no hands. For as much as Aunt Grace claims to have no coordination, it seems that Aunt Marge was the least coordinated of the three and had quite an adventure whenever she went for a bike ride. It turns out, Aunt Marge was unable to stop the bike on her own! Whenever she went for a ride, Ray and Grace had to watch for her to come home so that they could run out and catch her! If they were too late and missed her, Aunt Marge had to ride around the block another time so that Ray and Grace could catch her on the next round!

Aunt Dorothy was the after-thought baby of the family born 28 years after Uncle George and 6 years after Aunt Marge. She had a marvelous sense of humor and, along with Aunt Bertha, was a family comedian. In spite of the fact that Grandpa spoiled his baby girl, she was a hard worker and through her own determination, made it to college to become a teacher. She worked as a nurses aid, saved her money and got scholarships to reach her goal. 

In spite of the 28 year age difference in the siblings, it was always apparent to me that the Zielke kids were all loyal to and supportive of one another. It was always a great joy to me to attend family reunions; to see their interaction and to hear their laughter. I hope each of you have similar memories of the family and that, like me, you've been able to follow their example as you've built relationships in your own families.

Hobbies and Crafts

 I've realized that often times, people don't realize what special talents or gifts they have to share with the world. Whether it's out of humility or they honestly don't stop to think of the things they just "DO" as anything special, many people feel that way, and such was the case with Aunt Grace. 

I recently asked her to tell me about anything she has collected over her lifetime, or hobbies she has had. Right away, she told me that she's never had/done anything like that. She then told me that Uncle Austin did. He apparently had quite the coin collection and as silver was going for $22/ounce, they were able to pay for their trip to Alaska by cashing in the coin collection! 

Fortunately, Nan was there with her on our call and asked her mom about all of her counted cross stitch. And we were off and running! Oh yes!!! Aunt Grace has done a lot of counted cross stitch in her time! For anyone who may not know, counted cross stitch is done with embroidery floss on aida cloth using the most basic embroidery stitch: the cross stitch, a series of Xs arranged by pattern and color to create simple or complex designs.

The first project she told me about was the pictures she made for each of her seven grandchildren. They were made to look like old-fashioned "samplers" and have each grandchild's name and birth information:

Matthew & Jaci with their Samplers

While the Samplers were special gifts for each of the grandchildren for Christmas, Grace also made sure the grandchildren know that they were on Santa's list as in 1993, she made a counted cross-stitch of Santa with each of the grandkids' names on his list!

The next special one I learned of was her Lord's Prayer:

Floral patterns were pretty common among her counted cross-stich designs:

I love that all of her major projects include her signature and the year on them; little things that will make them even more special to her progeny through the years.

One year she did a cross-stitch that matches the pattern on her good China. Granddaughter, Lisa, gets the China and will also get the matching cross-stitch.

Following the floral theme, in 2003, she also did a "LOVE" cross-stitch hanging

Aunt Grace has also made table runners for several family members! She's made them using Monk's Cloth doing Swedish Weaving. I got to see one up close when I visited Norm and Elaine lately and, as someone who does embroidery, I was fascinated with the amount of needlework visible on the surface and virtually NOTHING visible on the backside! Gorgeous!

Poor Nan was kept busy during this video chat with Aunt Grace, running around and taking pictures of everything for me so that I could include them in this blog post and her exercise wasn't complete just because we finished with the cross-stitch projects!

As I asked Aunt Grace about her earlier years, I learned that before she was married, she used to embroider dresser scarves and dish towels. I know most of the "young 'uns" who may be reading this will have no idea what a dresser scarf is, but they were very common before the 1960s when furniture began to be made with better, more protected surfaces. Dresser scarves were laid across the top of dressers or bureaus to protect the surface of the furniture and were most frequently adorned with embroidery. Unfortunately, I don't have a picture of a dresser scarf to share with you, but Nan was able to dig out some of the embroidered dish clothes!

Not surprisingly, Aunt Grace also used to make a lot of her girls' clothing when they were young. When I asked if she sewed for economic reasons or pure enjoyment, she said, "Well. BOTH!" She enjoyed sewing, but as a young, post-WWII family, making clothes for her growing family helped to ease the budget.

Finally, I learned that not only does Aunt Grace do beautiful embroidery and cross-stitch, she also knows how to knit AND crochet! Most people I know, do one or the other. A fun favorite that people beg her for are her "scrubbies." To make them, she cuts. nylon net into 2" strips and then crochets six strips in a circular pattern to make her kitchen scrubbies. She ocassionally gets a request for larger scrubbies to use to wash cars; for those she uses 12 strips!

The final "non-hobby" project for "show-and-tell" with Aunt Grace was this gorgeous afghan, made of squares knitted in different patterns and sewn together! If I may repeat myself, absolutely GORGEOUS!

Looking at all of these beautiful heirlooms Aunt Grace has created, makes me realize how important it is to prepare to leave something behind for my children and grandchildren. Each of these items are a reflection of her great talent and the abundant love that she shares with each of us. Don't count your talents and skills short. Whether we knit, crochet, collect coins, restore antiques, take photos, sing, play an instrument, write stories or whatever it is we do with our "free" time, it is a piece of who we are and whatever we can do today to ensure that our progeny have access to those things will enable each of them to know us and know of our love for them through the generations. I know we're all blessed to know all we have been able to learn from our amazing matriarch. We love you, Aunt Grace!

Aunt Grace with her hand-
embroidered dish towels; Jan 2021