Rescuing Dad

(The following post is from my last "interview" with Aunt Grace to create this family history through her eyes. As you read, keep in mind this was a traumatic, bonding experience between 3 teenage siblings: Ray 19, Grace 16 and Marge 14. Aunt Grace requested I not share it with everyone else while she was still alive. I'm guessing that while she wanted to unburden herself of this memory of her father, she also didn't want to see it written or face the likely questions we all would have had. I know she didn't answer all of mine; I didn't have the heart to ask. Seeing how difficult it was for her to talk about, I didn't want to drag the memory out for her. My creative side has developed a dramatic setting and story to expound on her memory, but I decided to keep it simple, with just the facts she was able to share with me. With Aunt Grace's recent passing, it's time to share the memory that's been written and waiting for four years.)

On 24 March 2022, I joined Aunt Grace, Nan and Jeanine at their timeshare in Galena, Illinois where they were going through all of Aunt Grace's old scrapbooks and photos; cataloging, distributing and pitching thousands of old memories. While it's always a good time with these lovely ladies, I was determined to hear the story that Aunt Grace quickly shared with me the last time I had seen here in January.

Lanie and I had gone to Watertown, Wisconsin to meet with Al & Marcia to get memories of my dad and stopped by Aunt Grace's new place at Lake in the Woods to visit with her. Due to lingering Covid restrictions, we weren't allowed inside, but we were able to take her to McAlister's to get a drink and visit. 

Outing to McAlister's
January, 2022

As we were preparing to leave McAllister's, Aunt Grace told me that she needed to tell me about "grandpa committing suicide."  I could tell she was quite shaken up just thinking about it, and what she was saying really didn't make any sense. I assumed she was talking about one of her grandfathers, because I knew MY grandpa hadn't committed suicide, but what she told me made no sense with what I knew of her grandfathers' deaths either.

So, after going through the photos and memorabilia with them, I asked Aunt Grace if we could discuss what she started to tell me the last time I saw her, about her grandfather's suicide. She corrected me in saying it was her dad. It was obvious neither Nan nor Jeanine had ever heard anything of this either as they turned their shocked expressions from me to her. 

We had some difficulty pinning down the time, but determined that it must have been 1941 after Aunt Emma & Uncle Fred Witt's big 25th Anniversary celebration. Aunt Emma & Uncle Fred had renewed their vows with a total reenactment of their wedding followed by a big party with plenty of food and dancing. Grandma had been Emma's maid of honor for her wedding and resumed the role for the mock ceremony.

Grandma with Emma on her Wedding Day
5 October 1916

They didn't just reenact the ceremony, but also had a great reception afterward. Although it was hard for us to imagine, it turns out Grandma loved to dance and was having a very good time dancing at the party. Grandpa didn't dance, so she enjoyed dancing with other partners. 

Later that evening, after they had all gotten home, Grandma & Grandpa got into a disagreement. Apparently Grandpa was quite upset over Grandma's behavior and felt that Martha had made a fool of herself and him through her actions. Aunt Grace said Grandpa jumped out of the kitchen window (of the farmhouse in Oswego) and ran down the road. He ran all the way to the cemetery, toward the railroad tracks. Aunt Grace, Ray and Marge all chased after him and finally caught up to him at the railroad tracks. He planned to jump in front of a train to kill himself. It took all three of them begging him not to do it, to get him to come back home with them. 

As she retold the story to us, it was obvious that it was very emotional for her to think back and remember that day. As we asked her more about it, we learned that she, Ray and Marge never spoke about it again. None of them ever brought it up with each other or with any of their siblings. 

Later, after Aunt Grace had gone into her bedroom, Nan, Jeanine and I discussed it a little more. All of us were in agreement that this was something that had weighed heavily on her conscience for close to 80 years and hoped that having shared the story at last, it might have eased some of the burden she has borne alone for so long and that she might feel a bit of release.